CK is in upstate New York this weekend, searching for displaced Caps fans.
Never fear: TillyCapsFan is here to guide you through the storylines for Friday's game against Tampa Bay.
Storyline: Will the Lightning retaliate for Ovie's hot-hot-hot goal celebration?
Our take: This tempest will remain in its teapot. The Lightning won't avenge what they see as a classless act with a classless act of their own. Besides, the Bolts are much too focused on their drive to secure last place in the Southeast Division.
Storyline: Wasn't THAT a classless cheap shot?
Our take: Probably. But Theo told us it would be OK.
Storyline: Well, will the Lightning at least unleash a creative celebration of their own?
Our take: Haven't heard of anything in the works. Word on the street, though, is that Canada's ultrasecretive Cherry Laboratories is developing a devastating anti-goal-celebration. This statue-like non-dance is said to be capable of sucking the joy out of a hockey arena after a goal is scored. Won't be ready for Friday's game, though.
Storyline: Will Greenie get his 30th goal against the Bolts? Will Backie get his 20th goal or his 60th assist? Will Semin ever get a nickname that ends in -ie?
Our take: Probably not, on all counts. The Caps are averaging, what, two goals a game recently? That makes milestones hard to come by.
Storyline: Will Ovie steal the Art Ross Trophy away from Malkin with a flurry of goals and assists in his final seven games?
Our take: Not if he keeps his word. In a shrewd business deal at the All Star break, Ovie traded this year's Art Ross Trophy to Malkin for a floppy hat and two Canadian flags.
Storyline: At least tell me Boudreau will get the Jack Adams Award again.
Our take: That's a lock -- once the league realizes Bruce has managed to get his team's injuries, flu attack and losing streak all out of the way in the last month of the season, cleverly clearing the way for a smooth playoff run.
Storyline: When did you say CK would be back?
Our take: Not soon enough, friends. Not soon enough.
TillyCapsFan for CK